Where is the happiness ?

Everything could be change in one Moment, In last post I wrote ( I would like to live every

moment of happiness even If I know I will loes it ) . I knew that happiness will not take long time , it was short happiness or it was Delusion. The happiness is to short beacuse if we lived life full of happiness will not feel such happiness , but what If we Lived life full of sadness Can we feel Happiness or We wil uesd to live in sadness so we wil not feel any thing Like we are living just waiting for death , It could be difficult to Understanding that, I want that thing too much but Does not want me to have that happiness , There is the fact that I must know nothing coming Easily I have to get pain , hurt and work hard for It and most be sadness beacuse without sadness there is No happiness. I just walk away from pain but once I go back to It. I feel like im in Dark room There is no air and I can not breathe, All of that beacuse of One thing I couldnt have it.