Tuesday, 21 July 2009
Monday, 20 July 2009
just talking to myself about how much I miss you , um looking at my places are empty without you everything is ugly like me. I cant forget you at all every Min's you are in mind I am breathing your air , I love your world I love thinking of you , I love Missing you , you are in my Mind and soul, I miss that person who cared about me when I try to think of other person I cant Imagine that thinking of other person cuz you are so special and wonderful , look at your self how nice you are how your words are cute your smile I love it ,,,, I need you NOW like nothing can be without you , before you said to me when you feel lost just close your eyes and take deep breath then say my name you Will find me next to you , last call was more then nice I was crying like a child between your hands . you were so kind with me. oh I cant tell how much I love you.even when I was sad from you , you made me happy and forget everything , we used to say that No one can understand our Relationship cuz we are happy . I love your fault . I love when you are try to hide something and try to lie but you couldn't that's can tell me how much you are honest. I am looking to the Perfume which you gave it to me. I am happy with you I want live all my life with thinking and loving you cuz I am On that even if I know that I am out of your Life but I feel happy cuz the feeling in my heart is true feeling, I Will pray for god to save you and give you all what you want enough for me that you are happy and alive in this world.
Thursday, 2 July 2009
Here I am , standing in the night by darkeness , asking myself where did you go ,You always seem to disappear. You've left me again,Alone with all my fear, I dont know if I should call you mine Or Um yours , You are fading,Away from me.I need you here,To set me free. you said to dont cry even for me But now you're gone. I need you back,It's been too long. you Just been here then Disappear , i try to hold back tears everynight but I cant.I watch you now as you disappear , you are leaving back nothing but a invisible face with some words , i put on a smile to just let myself know that you were here then disappear. watch me now, cry invisible tears Like you when you disappear . watch me watch me! i'm gonna disappear with you .
In this moment I need you but you are disappear , I want to smell and touch you but you are disappear, that you chose to resisti see a smile smirk arcoss your face as you watched me disappear into spacei faked a smile. i held back tears i cut open my vein. and you let me disappear for ever thats going to be better than Live in the world with hurt and pain from you .
I will Love you to end of my life even if you are disappear . I will wait for that day when you be here and not Dissapear..
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
I am just thinking of you and thinking of days that we spent together last year on this Month , thinking of words thinking of speech thinking of every thing which I cant write because its just in my heart and in your memory ... I cant let any one come to my life and heart like you because that Will kill me so much and hurt if i let someone I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see. you should now that
Somewhere someone is thinking of you. Someone is calling you an angel. This person is using celestial colors to paint your image. Someone is making you into a vision so beautiful that it can only live in the mind. Someone is thinking of the way your breath escapes your lips when you are touched. How your eyes close and your jaw tightens with concentration as you give pleasure a home. These thoughts are saving a life somewhere right now. In some airless apartment on a dark, urine stained, whore lined street, someone is calling out to you silently and you are answering without even being there. So crystalline. So pure. Such life saving power when you smile. You will never know how you have cauterized my wounds. So sad that we will never touch. How it hurts me to know that I will never be able to give you everything I have. Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you. I wish upon the stars, that somewhere you are, thinking of me too.
how were nice our night together we didn't stop talking until morning , we won't to close the phones and stop talking we just wanted to be together all life and nights .. like this day last year in the night you called me to say to me Happy birthday and asked me whats my wish for my birthday I wouldn't like to tell you because I know you knew it and now I am asking my self about my wish this year and wondering if it will be the same or not, why I am asking my self I am already know what I want , its same thing ans simple but hared in the same time. today night I Will wait for your call like last year not just tonight but every night of this day I will wait and nothing will change with me or with my feeling Even though you're not here and nowhere to be found, my heart says you're still here and everywhere to be found. So, here I am, all by myself, thinking of you - no one else. There's a feeling inside and as hard as I try, it just won't go away.
Do you know something I want to smell you right now you will smile if you know that , do you know something Elsa I want to be your daughter because is better for me if you be my father because I want you to love me in any ways.
I am waiting and hoping and wishing for the time, when we can be together again!.. I Miss your voice your smile your speech I love the way when you talking ,, everybody can see that I am speaking like you ..
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.
I want ask you or asking my self , Why I want to you right now like nothing to be without you, sorry I couldn't hide my feeling this time .. I Will be waiting for nothing that will happen again . I will lie to my self that you here ,there and everywhere in my life Like what you said to me before .. Will read your Msgs everyday and night and never thorough away .. I will slit en to song that we listened together and sing it together . I will look at into the window and showing you the sky and raining ....I Will wear clothes that you love everyday the colour I will do everything we did by my own without you.. I will ask about you I will look at your pics every moment .Time goes by a lot slower when you miss the one you love.
This post from me to myself.............
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
- طفلة هى تمرح بين عيونة السوداء يحبها حب اب لى بانتة فاريته يحبنى كم يحبها
- اخاطب نفسى كا مراهقة تبحث عن حب و لكن لا ارى نفسى الا ان اريد ان اكون تلك طفلة
- طفلة هى تمرح و تلعب فى بستان حبة الملونة و ياريت لى روحه ان تعلم بانى اموت غيضآ من تلك طفلة
- انا التى تمزج البحر و بى جنونة و تحولاتة و لكن لا تعرف كيف ان تحبها مثل تلك طفلة
- شعرت بغيره العاشق للهوى و لكن اين هو العاشق فى صفحات الحياتى
عواصفنا هى تجرى فى عروقى و دماءحمراء هى التى ابكى مزالت ابحث عن الحب الطفلة لك
- ياريتنى لوحة تلك الطفلة التى ر سمت ياريتنى عبارة عن خطوطآ من مزيج خيلك تناقش على اورقك
- اريد فقط ان تحبنى كا تلك الطفلة لا اريد بأن اكون هامش مسودآ على ارفوف مكتبتك
- عاشقتك و ماذا فعلت بى نفسى هواك كالرياح العتية التى تلطم و جهى ثم تختفى تعود من غير ميعاد
- اين انت الان هل انت مع تلك الطفلة هلى تمرح معك هل ترسم لها لوحتنا جديدة هل تخبرها قصتنا هل تراى فى عينها الملاك
- اين انا الان هل انا جلسة على شاطىء من الرمل انظر الى غروب الشمس و اتمن حضورك و معك تلك طفلة
- اشتاق الى حنان الطفولة فاكون لى ابآ كا تلك الطفلة ولا تكون عاشقآ لى
- احببتك حبا الجنون الطفلة لى الالعابها رسمتك على حائط مثل ما ترسم الطفلة خيالها
- خطوطآ هى مشاعرى و كلماتنا على سطرو من الوهم رسمتك عليها وابكى خربشت بين تلك اسطر
- فارجوك كون لى أبآ ولا تكن لى حبيبنآ
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
I really feel that I'm get Tired of fight with myself . I try to show to my self there is still chance in everything in this Life ,benefit of the doubt.sometimes people disappoint you, sometimes they surprise you but you never really get to know them until you listen to what's in their heart, That's what happening to me Now , I am fighting with my self to see what in My hearts and Mind , and What I want in this Life , I'm fighting myself to get this Out of my head but I'm hanging onto every word you said and What I am saying to my self. I couldn't help my self to stop fighting but I wonder what it was about this ?!. It's a horrible feeling,holding on when you know that you are fighting with your self and try to let everything go without thinking of words that passed and never back again, Looking in the mirror asking my self why , how and where ?! then fighting !!! I am Listening to sound of my tears ...why!!! I am siting now blame my self ...why I am blaming my self how!!
Looking for good future how can I have it , why I am Looking for good future ...Is that wrong when you want more then your energy ,Why I am reading these Messages again , Why I am crying for , Why I cant sleep , why I am Disappoint, why I am Hurting my self by asking my self ??? shall I Give Up and Leave everything go without asking , do I Crazy or the world we Live is Crazy ? why I cant forget your words and get everything out off my head ? I am feeling Tired and I don't know why...!!!!