She Is A Nice

I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”

I am going to write about my best little friend called Aisha ( Majramti) , I was Siting down and thinking of her how she is Kind and Nice with me , she is so cute lovely girl I love the way when she speaks , she is about 14 years old but when you talk with her you will feel that you are talking to a women not a Teenager girl , I never thought that we will be a best friend , she as well never thought that .. All night we are staying together and keep talking until morning when I miss the person who I love, I found her next to me. we have same crazy things , the best thing about us we are saying Openness thing and never try to lie to each other maybe we hide things but we don't lie to each other. she Loves Harry potter too much but I think she is crazy about it , We made group called Criminals ( Majreameen ) that's group Consists of 3 people me and her one of them , those criminals are doing funny crazy things and stay up all the night like vampires who if any1 from our family stay up with Us that person can be one of us , she has a big heart can feel that she Loves me like I do, the funny thing we have a secret words with us no1 can understand it ..her Personality is wowo I can say we things which are same , I told her If i want to back to there I Will just back to see her and have nice time together like what we do when there is countries between us One day we will meet. I don't know where she is today I haven't see her On even this night I hope she is will be good where ever she is and have what ever she wants.I love my world with her , we have a crazy world , she is a part of this world . In My World there is Aisha , she is all mY lIfe , she is the person who makes me Happy .. I love her so Much.

I try to write how much I love her but I couldn't cuz my words aren't enough for that.. Aisha I try to do my best to show you how are spacial for me and all of you.

If you want sOmething badly let it GO, If itz comes back to u then itz going yours 4ever but If it doesnt then itz never GoING to be yourz

just talking to myself about how much I miss you , um looking at my places are empty without you everything is ugly like me. I cant forget you at all every Min's you are in mind I am breathing your air , I love your world I love thinking of you , I love Missing you , you are in my Mind and soul, I miss that person who cared about me when I try to think of other person I cant Imagine that thinking of other person cuz you are so special and wonderful , look at your self how nice you are how your words are cute your smile I love it ,,,, I need you NOW like nothing can be without you , before you said to me when you feel lost just close your eyes and take deep breath then say my name you Will find me next to you , last call was more then nice I was crying like a child between your hands . you were so kind with me. oh I cant tell how much I love you.even when I was sad from you , you made me happy and forget everything , we used to say that No one can understand our Relationship cuz we are happy . I love your fault . I love when you are try to hide something and try to lie but you couldn't that's can tell me how much you are honest. I am looking to the Perfume which you gave it to me. I am happy with you I want live all my life with thinking and loving you cuz I am On that even if I know that I am out of your Life but I feel happy cuz the feeling in my heart is true feeling, I Will pray for god to save you and give you all what you want enough for me that you are happy and alive in this world.

Disappear .....

Here I am , standing in the night by darkeness , asking myself where did you go ,You always seem to disappear. You've left me again,Alone with all my fear, I dont know if I should call you mine Or Um yours , You are fading,Away from me.I need you here,To set me free. you said to dont cry even for me But now you're gone. I need you back,It's been too long. you Just been here then Disappear , i try to hold back tears everynight but I cant.I watch you now as you disappear , you are leaving back nothing but a invisible face with some words , i put on a smile to just let myself know that you were here then disappear. watch me now, cry invisible tears Like you when you disappear . watch me watch me! i'm gonna disappear with you .

In this moment I need you but you are disappear , I want to smell and touch you but you are disappear, that you chose to resisti see a smile smirk arcoss your face as you watched me disappear into spacei faked a smile. i held back tears i cut open my vein. and you let me disappear for ever thats going to be better than Live in the world with hurt and pain from you .

I will Love you to end of my life even if you are disappear . I will wait for that day when you be here and not Dissapear..

ThInking Of you

I am just thinking of you and thinking of days that we spent together last year on this Month , thinking of words thinking of speech thinking of every thing which I cant write because its just in my heart and in your memory ... I cant let any one come to my life and heart like you because that Will kill me so much and hurt if i let someone I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see. you should now that
Somewhere someone is thinking of you. Someone is calling you an angel. This person is using celestial colors to paint your image. Someone is making you into a vision so beautiful that it can only live in the mind. Someone is thinking of the way your breath escapes your lips when you are touched. How your eyes close and your jaw tightens with concentration as you give pleasure a home. These thoughts are saving a life somewhere right now. In some airless apartment on a dark, urine stained, whore lined street, someone is calling out to you silently and you are answering without even being there. So crystalline. So pure. Such life saving power when you smile. You will never know how you have cauterized my wounds. So sad that we will never touch. How it hurts me to know that I will never be able to give you everything I have. Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you. I wish upon the stars, that somewhere you are, thinking of me too.
how were nice our night together we didn't stop talking until morning , we won't to close the phones and stop talking we just wanted to be together all life and nights .. like this day last year in the night you called me to say to me Happy birthday and asked me whats my wish for my birthday I wouldn't like to tell you because I know you knew it and now I am asking my self about my wish this year and wondering if it will be the same or not, why I am asking my self I am already know what I want , its same thing ans simple but hared in the same time. today night I Will wait for your call like last year not just tonight but every night of this day I will wait and nothing will change with me or with my feeling Even though you're not here and nowhere to be found, my heart says you're still here and everywhere to be found. So, here I am, all by myself, thinking of you - no one else. There's a feeling inside and as hard as I try, it just won't go away.

Do you know something I want to smell you right now you will smile if you know that , do you know something Elsa I want to be your daughter because is better for me if you be my father because I want you to love me in any ways.

I am waiting and hoping and wishing for the time, when we can be together again!.. I Miss your voice your smile your speech I love the way when you talking ,, everybody can see that I am speaking like you ..
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.

I want ask you or asking my self , Why I want to you right now like nothing to be without you, sorry I couldn't hide my feeling this time .. I Will be waiting for nothing that will happen again . I will lie to my self that you here ,there and everywhere in my life Like what you said to me before .. Will read your Msgs everyday and night and never thorough away .. I will slit en to song that we listened together and sing it together . I will look at into the window and showing you the sky and raining ....I Will wear clothes that you love everyday the colour I will do everything we did by my own without you.. I will ask about you I will look at your pics every moment .Time goes by a lot slower when you miss the one you love.

This post from me to myself.............

كونــــــــ لى أبآ و لا تكـــــــــن لى حبيبنــــــــــــآ

• 
  
  طفلة هى تمرح بين عيونة السوداء يحبها حب اب لى بانتة فاريته يحبنى كم يحبها
• اخاطب نفسى كا مراهقة تبحث عن حب و لكن لا ارى نفسى الا ان اريد ان اكون تلك طفلة
  
• طفلة هى تمرح و تلعب فى بستان حبة الملونة و ياريت لى روحه ان تعلم بانى اموت غيضآ من تلك طفلة
  
• انا التى تمزج البحر و بى جنونة و تحولاتة و لكن لا تعرف كيف ان تحبها مثل تلك طفلة
  
• شعرت بغيره العاشق للهوى و لكن اين هو العاشق فى صفحات الحياتى
  عواصفنا هى تجرى فى عروقى و دماءحمراء هى التى ابكى مزالت ابحث عن الحب الطفلة لك
• ياريتنى لوحة تلك الطفلة التى ر سمت ياريتنى عبارة عن خطوطآ من مزيج خيلك تناقش على اورقك
• اريد فقط ان تحبنى كا تلك الطفلة لا اريد بأن اكون هامش مسودآ على ارفوف مكتبتك
• عاشقتك و ماذا فعلت بى نفسى هواك كالرياح العتية التى تلطم و جهى ثم تختفى تعود من غير ميعاد
• اين انت الان هل انت مع تلك الطفلة هلى تمرح معك هل ترسم لها لوحتنا جديدة هل تخبرها قصتنا هل تراى فى عينها الملاك
• اين انا الان هل انا جلسة على شاطىء من الرمل انظر الى غروب الشمس و اتمن حضورك و معك تلك طفلة
• اشتاق الى حنان الطفولة فاكون لى ابآ كا تلك الطفلة ولا تكون عاشقآ لى
• احببتك حبا الجنون الطفلة لى الالعابها رسمتك على حائط مثل ما ترسم الطفلة خيالها
• خطوطآ هى مشاعرى و كلماتنا على سطرو من الوهم رسمتك عليها وابكى خربشت بين تلك اسطر
• فارجوك كون لى أبآ ولا تكن لى حبيبنآ
  

I am Fighting with Myself

I really feel that I'm get Tired of fight with myself . I try to show to my self there is still chance in everything in this Life ,benefit of the doubt.sometimes people disappoint you, sometimes they surprise you but you never really get to know them until you listen to what's in their heart, That's what happening to me Now , I am fighting with my self to see what in My hearts and Mind , and What I want in this Life , I'm fighting myself to get this Out of my head but I'm hanging onto every word you said and What I am saying to my self. I couldn't help my self to stop fighting but I wonder what it was about this ?!. It's a horrible feeling,holding on when you know that you are fighting with your self and try to let everything go without thinking of words that passed and never back again, Looking in the mirror asking my self why , how and where ?! then fighting !!! I am Listening to sound of my tears ...why!!! I am siting now blame my self ...why I am blaming my self how!!
Looking for good future how can I have it , why I am Looking for good future ...Is that wrong when you want more then your energy ,Why I am reading these Messages again , Why I am crying for , Why I cant sleep , why I am Disappoint, why I am Hurting my self by asking my self ??? shall I Give Up and Leave everything go without asking , do I Crazy or the world we Live is Crazy ? why I cant forget your words and get everything out off my head ? I am feeling Tired and I don't know why...!!!!

Jun

Jun is One Of my favourite Month , No just because I was Bron in this Month but it always my Happy things happened in this Month even Last year One of dreams but this dream didn't stay for Long time because it was just a dream then it will Gone Like any dream we have in night ,however it was so nice and a wonderful feeling that I would like to never have it again ,by the way always my happiness happened in the end of Jun it always by 20 to 29 not just happiness but I could say stranger thing that I will never think that will happen and might be change my life.

after Jun , I Like September as well and I think all my special people were Bron in this Month even famous, but it not like Jun for me..

Jun is summer time and I love night of the summer the smell of the summer ,, I love every thing in summer , thatz why I love the first month of the summer and last month of it.

In the end of June 2006 I came to England and that was the biggest thing that would happen to me and that's mean I Will have new life and everything would change. I can say England changes all my life and every day I learned new thing.

every year there is something special , I am wondering now what will happen? but I hope that dream will back to me again ye Rabi..

People In Our Life .......................

Always

Its always be so hard when there is a goodbye ..there is always a tear in the eyes and in the heart when we lose someone we love or a close friend or someone in the family...its hurt and make us have so deep pain inside us from missing them... but at the same time we keep try have hope that this person to come back again and have him in our life ...tears and pain can never kill the hope when we have big faith in this hope and in this love that is inside us ...sometime we pray and other time we sit watch them from far away and other times we might just go and talk to them and put everything behind to build new start ..but some others they would try to forget and to go over what they had ...but i will keep wonder if we can ever go over something become pig part of us ...even if they wasn't live with us but they live inside us .. always ...

Crying In the Dark

The Tears were not ever been the weakness Of Human Feeling but it is showing the nobility of the human , When the eyes has treas On it that's mean behind this eyes Heart.

It was Tears Night , My Room was dark and Cold I started to tremble Once I looked to the window even My Little friend at the Night wasn't there that Night , I could hear the wind outside the sound of the wind , it was like someone scream and sacred form something coming , with the wind`s sound was some of drink people walked in the street they were laughing and CRYING, there was feeling of loss and not knowing whether or not to show emotions. It's a feeling of confusion and isolation, I was afraid to show emotions . In Once that I can hear myself cry, but nobody else can. I felt alone and sacred Long time I haven't seen My Tears but those tears was from my pain and Hurt , Suddenly I sat down On my bed touch my Face , it was wet ,I was afraid and saying whats happening to me why I am crying for? I try ed to break my thoughts and through away but I couldn't , What would it be like to stay there forever?To be lost in all my cares? No answer to my Question , I pulled my Pillow and hugged , like I was trying to hide my emotions and to tell my self that I am not weak but I was Weak , couldn't hide my tears and No one Can See them. My tears were On my face my pillow was wet like my face like it was crying when I am cry , Watch as this tear falls into empty space ,See it fall into life's nameless place , then I wondered that it's now time to cry. A shudder, a scream, darkness envelops your soul The darkness of the night has taken its toll .

All Of us have tears and that's Mean behind these Tears is Onething , it is called Heart. but I wondering now Where is Our Heart Going?!

الا ســــــــــــــــــــــــلام

يُعرَّف الإسلام لُغوياً بأنه الانقياد التام لأمر الآمر و نهيه بلا اعتراض ؟و أما معناه حسب المُصطلح الديني ، فهو الدين الذي جاء به النبي محمد المصطفى ( صلَّى الله عليه و آله ) و الشريعة التي ختم الله تعالى بها الرسالات السماوية ، و الإسلام هو الدين الخاتم الذي لا يقبل الله من أحد التديُّن بغيره ، و هذا المعنى صريح قول الله تعالى : ﴿ إِنَّ الدِّينَ عِندَ اللّهِ الإِسْلاَمُ وَمَا اخْتَلَفَ الَّذِينَ أُوْتُواْ الْكِتَابَ إِلاَّ مِن بَعْدِ مَا جَاءهُمُ الْعِلْمُ بَغْيًا بَيْنَهُمْ وَمَن يَكْفُرْ بِآيَاتِ اللّهِ فَإِنَّ اللّهِ سَرِيعُ الْحِسَابِ
﴾ ، و قوله عزَّ و جلَّ : ﴿ وَمَن يَبْتَغِ غَيْرَ الإِسْلاَمِ دِينًا فَلَن يُقْبَلَ مِنْهُ وَهُوَ فِي الآخِرَةِ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ
﴾ .ثم إن من أقرّ بلسانه بشهادة أن " لا إله إلا الله " و شهادة أن " محمدا رسول الله " عُدّ مسلما ، فيجوز مناكحته و يحق له الميراث و يحقن دمه و تحترم أمواله و يكون له ما لسائر المسلمين من الحقوق المتبادلة ما لم ينكر شيئا من ضروريات الدين الإسلامي كالصلاة و الصيام و الحج مثلا .هذا و يعتبر الدين الإسلامي المنهج القويم و النهج الإلهي الأكمل من بين الأديان و الشرائع السماوية ، و هو المخطط الذي رسمه الله تعالى لسلوك الإنسان الفكري و العملي ، و هو الكفيل بإسعاد الإنسان إذا ما مشى على نهجه و سلك سبيله .و تمتاز الشريعة الإسلامية عن غيرها بالواقعية في مواجهة الحياة في مجال القضايا الاجتماعية و الفردية ، و بالحفاظ على سمة الاعتدال بين المادية المحضة و المعنوية الخالصة كما عليها كثير من المناهج الفكرية و الإعتقادية الراهنة .فالإسلام جعل من الحياة الاجتماعية المادية محضَنَاً تنمو و تينع و تزدهر فيه الجوانب المعنوية للإنسان ، و أراد من الإنسان المسلم أن يمارس الحياة مع الناس دون الانقطاع عن الله تعالى .هذا و تقوم الشريعة الإسلامية على أساس الفطرة الإنسانية و المساواة بين مختلف أفراد المجتمع الإسلامي فلا تُفرِّق بين الضعيف و القوي و الغني و الفقير و الشريف و الوضيع منهم ، كما لا تُفرق بين الأمم و الشعوب المختلفة إلا من باب طاعتها لله تعالى و التزامها بالتقوى ، فهي تعتبر التقوى ملاكا لتقييم عمل الإنسان و التزامه بتعاليم السماء .يقول الله تعالى في القرآن الكريم : ﴿ يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثَى (وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ
انا حبيت نكتب على الاسلام و القران و مسلمين من كل انحاء العالم و غيرة المسلمين على دينتهم و كيفية المسلم المؤمن ان يرى اسلامة الى العالم اخر اى يعنى كيفية توضيح الاسلام وتصحيح صورته نظرآ لانى اعيش فى بلاد اجانب و نظرآ لى اختلاف الدينات فى تلك بلاد و نظرآ انخلطى با مجمتع قد تعرفت على الكثير ماتعرف علية الحمدلله قد افدنى و قربنى اكثر من الله و الاسلام و ثابت طريقى و اتمن ان اكمل على هذا .. المهم نتبع قصتنا كم قلت من قبل نظرآ للظروف التى اعيشها فان ادرس مع طلابة من جميع الجنسيات و الدينات .. و فى منهم من هم مقربين لدى و الحمدلله يحتروم دينى و عادات و تقاليدى ومجتمع ,دائمآ يسؤالنى على الاسلام و ماذا يعنى بالنسبة الينانحن المسلمين طبعا يوجد الكثيرآ من يدعوا بانهم مسلمين يشوهوا دينى الجملية الشفاف العدل بالصراحة اشعر بالغيرة و اتمن ان اريهم الاسلام على غير طريقة طبعآ فى دكتور يدرس فيا هو مش معترف بأى دينة يعنى استغفر الله العظيم يعنى حتى بالله لا يؤمن وفى احدى مرات كانة جالسين و نتحدث عن الدينات و لماذا هو لا يؤمن بى شىء فقال ان الحروب و الاشياء التى تحدث فى هذا العالم كلام الذى يقولونه عن كل دينة و كل دينة تحمل اكاذيب قد جعلنى لا اصدق شىء الا الطبيعة فاقد قال ان كل شىء فى هذا العالم قد جاء من صنع الطبيعة فهو يؤمن بالعلوم اكثر ,عندها قد سالته سؤال و قالت له هل سألت نفسك من خلق كل هذا فقال نعم قد فعلت وقالت له هل وجدت الاجابة قال لا و اخبرتة بان الدين الاسلامى يعرف كل اجابة و لك شىء مذكرو فى القران وان لله هو الذى خالقنا ونحن نؤمن به و نؤمن بالسيد الانبياء محمد صلى لله علية و سلم , وعندة سألنى قد قال اذا من خلق الله ومن اين جاء قد اخبرتة بى سورة قرآنية وهى سورة الاخلاص و قد بحثت عنها فى الانترانت بالغة الانجليزية نظرآ بانى لم استطع ان اقولها له, عندها قد وجد بأن الموضوع يحتاج القراءة و البحث , عندها سألنى زميلى و سألنى عن زواج فى لاسلام هنالك معملومات خطأة يعرفها حولت ان اشرح له بكل الطرق و بان بعض الناس يغيروا معتقدتنا و يحول بأن يعلوا اسلام صعب وفى احدى مرات وانا جالسة على الكموبيتر و ابحث قد وجدت حديتآ لى حرم سيد انور السادات جيهان السادات مع

Barbara Walters

قد سالتها عن الاسلام عن الزواج فى الاسلام اخبرتها بان المراءة لها الحق بان تختار الرجل المناسب التى تحبه ولكن لا يحق لهم بعيش تحت صقف واحد الا بحلال وقالت بان هنالك الكثيرآ من الناس الذى يشرحوا الاسلام بطريقة خطا , بصراحة انا غيرت كثيرآ على الاسلام و الدينة و العادات قد شعرت بان العالم الاخر ينظرا الي الاسلام بانه ظلام و ليس متطور مع تقدم العلم مع ان الاسلام اكثر متطور بانه قد تحث عن كل شىء صغيرة و كبيرة, المهم فى احدى مرات قد رايت الدكتور فى احدى محاضرا يحمل معة القرآن قد شعرت باغيرة كبيرة قد ذهبت الية و سالته اذاكان هو متطهار قد لم يفهم مااعنية اخبرته لماذاتحمل الكتاب معك قد قال بان قد شعر باالمتعة لى معرفى ماهو القرآن والاسلام قد قالت له بان شعرت بالغيرة عندم رأيتك تحمل القرآن فاسألنى بى استغراب و قال لماذا , اجابتة قد غرت بانك لا تعرف قمية هذا كلام عندنا نحن المسلمين و ان كل كلامة عندم تقرأ تشعر بالسعادة و اطمائنية وبى راحة البال و يعطيك الصبر على مصائبك فا هذا اسلامنا و ديننا هو الدين الرحمة و محبة فا الاسلام لا يفرق بين احد فهو الحب الصادق الذى بى قلوبنا

لا شك في أن القرآن الكريم هو كتاب الله عَزَّ و جَلَّ الذي أنزله ليكون دستوراً لجميع أفراد البشر على مختلف لغاتهم و ثقافاتهم و ألوانهم من دون تمييز ، و هذا الأمر ليس إدعاءً ، بل هو حقيقة تؤكده الكثير من آيات القرآن الكريم .

القرآن كتاب مُرسل إلى البشرية :بالتدبر في كثير من آيات الذكر الحكيم نعرف أن كثيراً من الآيات القرآنية تدل صراحة على أن القرآن الكريم ليس ـ كما يتصور البعض ـ كتاباً خاصاً بالعرب ، بل هو كتاب عام خاطبَ به الله عَزَّ و جَلَّ جميع أفراد النوع الانساني ، و هو المنهج الإلهي الكفيل بإسعاد الإنسان أسوده و أبيضه ، عربيِّه و أعجميِّه ، شرقيِّه و غربيِّه ، حيث أننا نجد الخطاب الإلهي في كثير من الآيات خطاباً عاماً و شاملاً ، و غير محدود بحدود إقليمية أو لغوية أو قومية أو عرقية ، و لا محصور داخل أُطر ضيقة .نعم أننا نجد ـ خلافاً للتصور المذكور ـ أن الصبغة العامة للخطابات القرآنية هي عمومية الخطاب و شموليته في الغالب ، فكثيراً ما نجد القرآن الكريم يخاطب العقلاء جميعاً من دون استثناء أو تمييز كما في توجيهه الخطاب لأولي الألباب من دون التعرض للغتهم ، و كذلك لدى توجيهه الخطاب للإنسان ، أو للناس ، أو للعالمين ، بل نجده يتخطى افراد النوع الانساني و يوجِّه خطابه الى الجن أيضاً في آيات عديدة سوف نشير إليها .نماذج من الخطابات القرآنية العامة :الخطابات القرآنية العامة كثيرة جداً نُشير إلى نماذج منها في ما يلي :1. خطاب القرآن للعقلاء :لقد وجَّه الله تعالى خطابه للعقلاء في كثير من آيات القرآن الكريم ، و لم يتعرض للغتهم أبداً ، و هذه الآيات كثيرة نُشير إلى بعضها :قال الله عَزَّ و جَلَّ : ﴿ كِتَابٌ أَنزَلْنَاهُ إِلَيْكَ مُبَارَكٌ لِّيَدَّبَّرُوا آيَاتِهِ وَلِيَتَذَكَّرَ أُوْلُوا الْأَلْبَابِ
﴾ .و قال عَزَّ مِنْ قائل : ﴿ وَسَخَّرَ لَكُمُ اللَّيْلَ وَالْنَّهَارَ وَالشَّمْسَ وَالْقَمَرَ وَالْنُّجُومُ مُسَخَّرَاتٌ بِأَمْرِهِ إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَعْقِلُونَ
﴾ .2. خطاب القرآن للإنسان :كما و أن الله عَزَّ و جَلَّ وجَّه خطابه للانسان في كثير من الآيات و لم يتعرض للغة هذا الإنسان ، و اليك بعض الامثلة على ذلك :قال جَلَّ جَلالُه : ﴿ يَا أَيُّهَا الْإِنسَانُ إِنَّكَ كَادِحٌ إِلَى رَبِّكَ كَدْحًا فَمُلَاقِيهِ
﴾ .و قال عَزَّ مِنْ قائل : ﴿ أَيَحْسَبُ الْإِنسَانُ أَلَّن نَجْمَعَ عِظَامَهُ * بَلَى قَادِرِينَ عَلَى أَن نُّسَوِّيَ بَنَانَهُ * بَلْ يُرِيدُ الْإِنسَانُ لِيَفْجُرَ أَمَامَهُ * يَسْأَلُ أَيَّانَ يَوْمُ الْقِيَامَةِ
﴾ .و قال سبحانه و تعالى : ﴿ أَيَحْسَبُ الْإِنسَانُ أَن يُتْرَكَ سُدًى * أَلَمْ يَكُ نُطْفَةً مِّن مَّنِيٍّ يُمْنَى * ثُمَّ كَانَ عَلَقَةً فَخَلَقَ فَسَوَّى * فَجَعَلَ مِنْهُ الزَّوْجَيْنِ الذَّكَرَ وَالْأُنثَى * أَلَيْسَ ذَلِكَ بِقَادِرٍ عَلَى أَن يُحْيِيَ الْمَوْتَى
﴾ .3. خطاب القرآن للناس :كما و وجَّه خطابه إلى الناس في عدد من الآيات القرآنية الكريمة ، و لم يخص فئة دون أخرى ، و هذه بعض الأمثلة :قال عَزَّ مِنْ قائل : ﴿ الَر كِتَابٌ أَنزَلْنَاهُ إِلَيْكَ لِتُخْرِجَ النَّاسَ مِنَ الظُّلُمَاتِ إِلَى النُّورِ بِإِذْنِ رَبِّهِمْ إِلَى صِرَاطِ الْعَزِيزِ الْحَمِيدِ
﴾ ، و ليس في هذه الآية ذكرٌ للغةٍ خاصة أو قوم خاص ، بل الآية تصرح بأن القرآن منزل ليكون وسيلة لإخراج الناس جميعاً من دون تمييز من الظلمات إلى النور .و كذلك قوله جَلَّ جَلالُه : ﴿ إِنَّا أَنزَلْنَا عَلَيْكَ الْكِتَابَ لِلنَّاسِ بِالْحَقِّ فَمَنِ اهْتَدَى فَلِنَفْسِهِ وَمَن ضَلَّ فَإِنَّمَا يَضِلُّ عَلَيْهَا وَمَا أَنتَ عَلَيْهِم بِوَكِيلٍ
﴾ .و لو تأملنا الخطاب القرآني خاصة في المسائل العامة كالدعوة إلى عبادة الله و التوحيد و غيرهما لوجدناه خطاباً عاماً ، حيث يكون الخطاب فيها بـ " يا أيها الناس " ، و مثال ذلك هو سورة الحج ، فإن فيها خطابات متعددة للناس جميعاً ، كما في قول الله عَزَّ و جَلَّ : ﴿ يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمْ إِنَّ زَلْزَلَةَ السَّاعَةِ شَيْءٌ عَظِيمٌ * يَوْمَ تَرَوْنَهَا تَذْهَلُ كُلُّ مُرْضِعَةٍ عَمَّا أَرْضَعَتْ وَتَضَعُ كُلُّ ذَاتِ حَمْلٍ حَمْلَهَا وَتَرَى النَّاسَ سُكَارَى وَمَا هُم بِسُكَارَى وَلَكِنَّ عَذَابَ اللَّهِ شَدِيدٌ
﴾ .و كما في قوله تعالى : ﴿ يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِن كُنتُمْ فِي رَيْبٍ مِّنَ الْبَعْثِ فَإِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُم مِّن تُرَابٍ ثُمَّ مِن نُّطْفَةٍ ثُمَّ مِنْ عَلَقَةٍ ثُمَّ مِن مُّضْغَةٍ مُّخَلَّقَةٍ وَغَيْرِ مُخَلَّقَةٍ لِّنُبَيِّنَ لَكُمْ وَنُقِرُّ فِي الْأَرْحَامِ مَا نَشَاء إِلَى أَجَلٍ مُّسَمًّى ثُمَّ نُخْرِجُكُمْ طِفْلًا ثُمَّ لِتَبْلُغُوا أَشُدَّكُمْ وَمِنكُم مَّن يُتَوَفَّى وَمِنكُم مَّن يُرَدُّ إِلَى أَرْذَلِ الْعُمُرِ لِكَيْلَا يَعْلَمَ مِن بَعْدِ عِلْمٍ شَيْئًا وَتَرَى الْأَرْضَ هَامِدَةً فَإِذَا أَنزَلْنَا عَلَيْهَا الْمَاء اهْتَزَّتْ وَرَبَتْ وَأَنبَتَتْ مِن كُلِّ زَوْجٍ بَهِيجٍ
﴾ .و كما في قوله عَزَّ و جَلَّ : ﴿ قُلْ يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّمَا أَنَا لَكُمْ نَذِيرٌ مُّبِينٌ
﴾ .هذا مضافاً إلى الخطابات الكثيرة الأخرى الموجودة في غير سورة الحج ، أمثال قوله تعالى : ﴿ قُلْ يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنِّي رَسُولُ اللّهِ إِلَيْكُمْ جَمِيعًا الَّذِي لَهُ مُلْكُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالأَرْضِ لا إِلَهَ إِلاَّ هُوَ يُحْيِي وَيُمِيتُ فَآمِنُواْ بِاللّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ النَّبِيِّ الأُمِّيِّ الَّذِي يُؤْمِنُ بِاللّهِ وَكَلِمَاتِهِ وَاتَّبِعُوهُ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَهْتَدُونَ
﴾ .و قوله جَلَّ جَلالُه : ﴿ يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ قَدْ جَاءتْكُم مَّوْعِظَةٌ مِّن رَّبِّكُمْ وَشِفَاء لِّمَا فِي الصُّدُورِ وَهُدًى وَرَحْمَةٌ لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ
﴾ .و قوله سبحانه : ﴿ قُلْ يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ قَدْ جَاءكُمُ الْحَقُّ مِن رَّبِّكُمْ فَمَنِ اهْتَدَى فَإِنَّمَا يَهْتَدِي لِنَفْسِهِ وَمَن ضَلَّ فَإِنَّمَا يَضِلُّ عَلَيْهَا وَمَا أَنَاْ عَلَيْكُم بِوَكِيلٍ
﴾ .4. خطاب القرآن للعالَمين :تبين مما ذكرنا بأن الله عَزَّ و جَلَّ أنزل القرآن للناس عامة و ليس للعرب خاصة ـ كما قد يُتَصوَّر ـ ، و هنا نريد التأكيد على أن القرآن الكريم ليس للناس جميعاً فحسب ، بل هو كتابٌ مرسل إلى العالمين الذي هو أعم من الناس ، و يشهد على ذلك عدد غير قليل من الآيات التي تصرح بهذا الأمر ، و من تلك الآيات :قال الله جَلَّ جَلالُه : ﴿ وَإِن يَكَادُ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا لَيُزْلِقُونَكَ بِأَبْصَارِهِمْ لَمَّا سَمِعُوا الذِّكْرَ وَيَقُولُونَ إِنَّهُ لَمَجْنُونٌ * وَمَا هُوَ إِلَّا ذِكْرٌ لِّلْعَالَمِينَ
﴾ .و قال تعالى : ﴿ إِنْ هُوَ إِلَّا ذِكْرٌ لِّلْعَالَمِينَ
﴾ .قال ابن منظور : العالَمُ : الخَلْق كلُّه‏ ، و قال الزجاج : معنى العالمِينَ‏ كل ما خَلق الله ، كما قال : و هو ربُّ كل شي‏ء ، و هو جمع عالَم .إلى غيرها من الآيات الدالة على عمومية القرآن الكريم و الرسالة الإسلامية و أنها غير مختصة بمكان أو زمان معين أو فئة و جماعة خاصة .5. خطاب القرآن للجن :و هناك آيات أخرى تصرح بأن الجن أيضاً هم ممن يستمعون القرآن و يتعاملون معه ككتاب و خطاب إلهي يشملهم كغيرهم من العالمين .و الجن طائفة من الموجودات غير المرئية ، فلا يستطيع الإنسان مشاهدتها إلا إذا أظهرت الجن نفسها للإنسان ، و قد خلقها الله تعالى قبل أن يخلق الإنسان ، و بعث إليهم الأنبياء ، و هم كالناس يدينون بالأديان و المذاهب ، فمنهم يهود و نصارى و مسلمون ، و منهم مؤمنون بالله و رسوله و الأئمة المعصومين ( عليهم السلام ) ، كما أنهم كانوا يأتون إلى النبي ( صلى الله عليه و آله ) و الأئمة ( عليهم السلام ) يسألون عن معالم الدين و أحكامه ، و قد كانوا يخدمون المعصومين و يأتمرون بأوامرهم إذا ما أمروهم بذلك .قال جَلَّ جَلالُه : ﴿ وَإِذْ صَرَفْنَا إِلَيْكَ نَفَرًا مِّنَ الْجِنِّ يَسْتَمِعُونَ الْقُرْآنَ فَلَمَّا حَضَرُوهُ قَالُوا أَنصِتُوا فَلَمَّا قُضِيَ وَلَّوْا إِلَى قَوْمِهِم مُّنذِرِينَ * قَالُوا يَا قَوْمَنَا إِنَّا سَمِعْنَا كِتَابًا أُنزِلَ مِن بَعْدِ مُوسَى مُصَدِّقًا لِّمَا بَيْنَ يَدَيْهِ يَهْدِي إِلَى الْحَقِّ وَإِلَى طَرِيقٍ مُّسْتَقِيمٍ * يَا قَوْمَنَا أَجِيبُوا دَاعِيَ اللَّهِ وَآمِنُوا بِهِ يَغْفِرْ لَكُم مِّن ذُنُوبِكُمْ وَيُجِرْكُم مِّنْ عَذَابٍ أَلِيمٍ * وَمَن لَّا يُجِبْ دَاعِيَ اللَّهِ فَلَيْسَ بِمُعْجِزٍ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَلَيْسَ لَهُ مِن دُونِهِ أَولِيَاء أُوْلَئِكَ فِي ضَلَالٍ مُّبِينٍ
﴾ .عالمية القرآن و الاسلام :هذا و من يتدبر القرآن الكريم يجد التأكيد القرآني على عالمية الدين الإسلامي و الرسالة المحمدية قوياً جداً ، إلى جانب ما تؤكده الأحاديث الشريفة من أن الله عَزَّ و جَلَّ قد أرسل رسوله النبي محمد المصطفى ( صلى الله عليه و آله ) ـ كما أرسل القرآن ـ إلى العالمين أيضاً ، و ليس للبشر خاصة ، و إليك نماذج من هذه النصوص :قال الله تعالى : ﴿ وَمَا أَرْسَلْنَاكَ إِلَّا رَحْمَةً لِّلْعَالَمِينَ
﴾ .و قال عَزَّ مِنْ قائل : ﴿ تَبَارَكَ الَّذِي نَزَّلَ الْفُرْقَانَ عَلَى عَبْدِهِ لِيَكُونَ لِلْعَالَمِينَ نَذِيرًا
﴾ .و قال جلَّ جلاله مخاطباً الرسول ( صلى الله عليه و آله ) : ﴿ وَمَا أَرْسَلْنَاكَ إِلَّا كَافَّةً لِّلنَّاسِ بَشِيرًا وَنَذِيرًا وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لَا يَعْلَمُونَ
﴾ .و قال جلَّ و علا مخاطباً رسوله الكريم أيضاً : ﴿ قُلْ يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنِّي رَسُولُ اللّهِ إِلَيْكُمْ جَمِيعًا الَّذِي لَهُ مُلْكُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالأَرْضِ لا إِلَهَ إِلاَّ هُوَ يُحْيِي وَيُمِيتُ فَآمِنُواْ بِاللّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ النَّبِيِّ الأُمِّيِّ الَّذِي يُؤْمِنُ بِاللّهِ وَكَلِمَاتِهِ وَاتَّبِعُوهُ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَهْتَدُونَ

الإسلام دين عالمي و ليس ديناً عربياً :من يتدبر القرآن الكريم يجد التأكيد القرآني على عالمية الدين الإسلامي و الرسالة المحمدية قوياً جداً ، إلى جانب ما تؤكده الأحاديث الشريفة من أن الله عَزَّ و جَلَّ قد أرسل رسوله النبي محمد المصطفى ( صلى الله عليه و آله ) ـ كما أرسل القرآن ـ إلى العالمين أيضاً ، و ليس للبشر خاصة ، و إليك نماذج من هذه النصوص :قال الله تعالى : ﴿ وَمَا أَرْسَلْنَاكَ إِلَّا رَحْمَةً لِّلْعَالَمِينَ
﴾ .و قال عَزَّ مِنْ قائل : ﴿ تَبَارَكَ الَّذِي نَزَّلَ الْفُرْقَانَ عَلَى عَبْدِهِ لِيَكُونَ لِلْعَالَمِينَ نَذِيرًا

أما الأحاديث الشريفة التي تصرح بعمومية الخطاب القرآني و الشريعة المحمدية فكثيرة هي أيضاً ، و إليك نماذج منها :

قال الإمام أمير المؤمنين ( عليه السَّلام ) ـ في خطبة له في يوم الجمعة ـ : " ... وَ أَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّداً ( صلى الله عليه و آله ) عَبْدُهُ وَ رَسُولُهُ وَ خِيَرَتُهُ مِنْ خَلْقِهِ ، اخْتَارَهُ بِعِلْمِهِ ، وَ اصْطَفَاهُ لِوَحْيِهِ ، وَ ائْتَمَنَهُ عَلَى سِرِّهِ ، وَ ارْتَضَاهُ لِخَلْقِهِ ، وَ انْتَدَبَهُ لِعَظِيمِ أَمْرِهِ ، وَ لِضِيَاءِ مَعَالِمِ دِينِهِ ، وَ مَنَاهِجِ سَبِيلِهِ ، وَ مِفْتَاحِ وَحْيِهِ ، وَ سَبَباً لِبَابِ رَحْمَتِهِ ، ابْتَعَثَهُ عَلَى حِينِ فَتْرَةٍ مِنَ الرُّسُلِ ، وَ هَدْأَةٍ مِنَ الْعِلْمِ ، وَ اخْتِلَافٍ مِنَ الْمِلَلِ ، وَ ضَلَالٍ عَنِ الْحَقِّ ، وَ جَهَالَةٍ بِالرَّبِّ ، وَ كُفْرٍ بِالْبَعْثِ وَ الْوَعْدِ ، أَرْسَلَهُ إِلَى النَّاسِ أَجْمَعِينَ رَحْمَةً لِلْعَالَمِينَ بِكِتَابٍ كَرِيمٍ ...

و روى الإمام الحسين بن علي ( عليه السَّلام ) عن أبيه أمير المؤمنين ( عليه السَّلام ) ـ في حديث طويل يشرح فيه فقرات الأذان ـ أنهُ قَالَ : " ... وَ أَمَّا قَوْلُهُ أَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّداً رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ، يَقُولُ أُشْهِدُ اللَّهَ عَلَى أَنِّي أَشْهَدُ أَنَّهُ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا هُوَ ، وَ أَنَّ مُحَمَّداً عَبْدُهُ وَ رَسُولُهُ وَ نَبِيُّهُ وَ صَفِيُّهُ وَ نَجِيبُهُ أَرْسَلَهُ إِلَى كَافَّةِ النَّاسِ أَجْمَعِينَ ﴿ ... بِالْهُدَى وَدِينِ الْحَقِّ لِيُظْهِرَهُ عَلَى الدِّينِ كُلِّهِ وَلَوْ كَرِهَ الْمُشْرِكُونَ

هذا هو اسلامنا و دينا كل حبة و رحمة ياريت نحن مسلمين انكون على قد مسؤلية ونرى اسلامنا و ديننا بطريقة صحيحة ..

FaLl In LoVe Or In Hate...

I MiSs You...

I Miss you , what does this word mean to us. We are always hearing this word on songs some people say it or on Stories but Do we feel this words Or not do we know what mean it?! I think we do but we try to ignore it however as human feeling we Miss People who we Love .. you could say to your friend or family or lover but when you miss who you love . you feel in his place or her empty and there is a big space and nothing can Fill it ..we Will Sit down and remember and thinking of them , and that would hurt us to much. I miss everything in my life even myself when I was child.

All of us have some one to Miss and Love , Those days I Miss my cousin Nuna , she was Always Online On her email but her balance is finishing now , and all this week I will not seeing her Online , she was always with me like we are living together and she is SO close for me now more then when I was In My country, To the practice I could not open my email without seeing her Online or anyone from his family. I live far away from my country as you know people who live far away from their country Miss everything and be happy when some people call them or ask about them , because some people think that who lives there are happy and doesn't think of any one. NuNa I Miss you , Love you all..

I Miss some one Elsa but I can not tell who is this person , that person lives far away from me and knows that, but always the truth thing is keeping in the heart .One day everything will showing, I am sorry I Miss you..

Can you every body tell who you Miss right now ? who is the first person you Miss when you read this post?

قد نسيت النوم ولم اعرف لماذا؟

هى كلمات كثيرة قد يستطيع المرء تعبير عنها و تفكر بيها ,قد اصبح لى صديق جديد او هو صديق قديم ولكن لم اكن انتبه الى وجدية معنا .هذا الصديق يأتى فى وقت واحد و يدوم لى ساعات و اثناء تلك الساعات يصبح الجيمع نيام و لا احد ينتبه الى هذا الصديق الذى طالما كان موجود يطلق علية اسم اليلل لونة اسود و يحمل معة صديقآ اخر هو القمر من حول القمر النجوم التى تضياء ذلك اليلل

قد سميتة الصديق لى بانى لم اجد احد يرافقنى ذلك الوقت الطويل الا هو احيانا اشعر بانه صديق ثقيل و اريده ان يذهب و ينتهى بسرعة لكى ابدأ يوم جديد و امل جديد ... ولكن ما من فائدة و لا استطيع الهروب منة لانه هو الذى يعلم بالمى و جروحى و دموعى التى لا يراها الا ذلك الصديق و معه ذلك القمر الذى يبهرنى بى ضوءه الذى احب ان اسمية بى ضوء امل

قد طال ليلل و طالت معه الاحزان التى لا تنتهى ابدآ قد سئمت انتظر الشمس .فا مهما طال ليلل لا بد من شمس تبدده ولكن قد جلعتة

صديقآ لى يعلم بكل دمعة ذرفتها من اجل من و لماذا قد يخباء ذلك اليلل كل اسرارالبشر و قساوتهم على انفاسهم .. ساعات اليلل طويل و مااقساها من ساعات .. صديقآ هو انت ايها اليلل و ما اقساك من الصديق قد تعبت من ساعات الهرب من النوم لانى اعرف بانى لان انام و اجلس انتظر و صلك و فالماذا نسيت النوم؟؟

فى احد اليلالى الطويلة قد جلست كاعادة انظر من النافذة غرفتى عندها قد سحرنى ضوء القمرعندها قد شعرت بان القمر قريبآ منى جدا قد تلهفت الى خروج فى حديقة المنزل لان الطقس قد كان صافيا و يحمل نسمات جميلة جدا تشرح قلب قد كانت الساعة الرابعة ...نزلت الى اسفل الجميع قد كانوا نائمين فتحت الباب الخلفى لى منزال خرجت نظرات الى القمر و الى مدى نوره و جماله قد شعرت بى رهبة غريبة لم اشعر بيها من قبل شىء جميل فى داخلى قد تمنيت الطيرانقد شعرت بانى طائر جريح لا استطيع الطيران قد فردت ذراعى و مددتهم لكى اطير و لكن اصبحت ادوراا عندها سقطت قطرت من مطر على و جهى و لكن لم تكن امطارآ بل كانت دموعآ. المكان قد كان مظلم كثيرا رغم قوة ضوء القمر فى تلك اليللة و الغريب بانى لم اخاف قد استمريت فى ماشى و نظرا الى اعلى ,قد كنت لا اريد ان تنتهى تلك لحظة الغريبة و المشاعر التى شعرت بيها ان تنتهى و لكن ما من شىء يدوم.

قصتى مع ليلل كثيرة و الغريب بانى جعلته صد يقآ رغم عنى وانى لم اذق طعم النوم منذ زمان على رغم بانى اكون متعبة و لا انام و اذا نمت فتكون فقط ساعتان او اكثر . و ليلل جميل فى لونة اسود ساحر مع القمر و نجوم اشعر بانهن امانى البشر التى تلمع فى فى سودا اليلل. اضيع و قتى الطويل مع ليلل فى ذكر الله سبحانه و تعالى و صلاة مع اجمل تضيع و قتك بالتقوى الله قد ا هذا اجمل شىء قد يفعلة المرء المسلم .سميتك صديقآ فكان لى خير صديقا

نسيت النوم و لم اعرف لماذا هل من شخص يعرف اجابة؟؟

الليـــل قلب وروح ودمعةالليـــل ركعة ومناجاة وكلمةالليـــل سكون وطمأنينة وفكرةالليـــل كتاب جلبل ،وقلب سقيم ومحنةالليـــل سماء ودعاء وحكمةالليـــل أ نشودة محببة إلى النفس الإنسانية تعود إلينا بالصفاء كل يومالليـــل أية الله التي تحمل بين طياتها بلسم الشفاء للقلوب المجروحة بلوعة البعد عنهالليـــل روضة الفكروبحر عميق تسبح فيه بنات الأفكار فيشفى العقل من سقمه وتعبهالليـــل لقاء العبد بربه في أروع لحظات الحياة الدنيا ،التي تعطيها بعض معاني جمالهاالليـــل مرآة تقلب فيها ناظريك لعلك تجد نفسك على صفحتها كما خلقك الله إنسانا ضعيفا محتاجا إليه في كل حين

What Can I saY to My BrOken Heart??

What can the love in my soul be compared to another wonderful soul which is so far and yet so close of my self? What can this symbiosis between two souls can be? What can love be when you feel you cannot sleep at night, that every drop of dew becomes a crystal in your heart, when every breeze of wind has magical meanings? What can love be when you feel that you want nothing more in this world that to be with the soul you love? But what can love be in other transcendental realities? What about our souls? Are our souls a waterfall, a true Niagara or a smile, a flirt of an angel? Are our souls a mere mood of a fairy or a lightening in a summer rain?Our souls could be all of this and much more. But what really happens in that transcendental reality when we feel we are truly in love, that we love so much that it hurts? That the air in the room is unbreathable, that the sentimental, spiritual or physical distances kill us? What happens when dawn find us sadder than ever, looking for an excuse or an argument for the person we love so much, our Great Love? What are all thses? What are the looks lost in the desert horizons of unfulfilment or those in the eyes that deeply loose each other in the others inside the souls?

What Can I say To My BroKEn Heart ??

I havent any words to say for it just be Patient thats the only Treatment because I dont konw any Treatment for broken heart.........

I Left it beacuse I want to back to it

الوطن هو الأرض التي أول ما رأت عيناك سهولها وبطاحها، وتغلغلت في رئتيك أنسامها، ولعبت بين أحجارها مع أترابك، وهي التي تشدك إليها حبال الحنين مهما بعدت وكما قال الشاعر:كم منزل في الأرض يألفه الفتى وحنينه أبداً لأول منزل .. كل يوم اشتاق الى نسمات الوطن و الى الالونة الذهبية .. اليوم قد شعرت باالحنين الى الوطن و باخص الى مدينتى الحبيبة , لم اجد كلمات استطع فيها التعبير عن مدى اشتياقى لها,و لكن قد كان هنالك سؤال يدور فى عقلى و قلبى اذا ذهبت الى هنالك هل ارتح هل هذا الاشتياق ينتهى هل اكون شخص مغروب بيه ,وهل هنالك من ينتظرنى ..اسئلة كثيرة تدور فى عقلى و تلك اسئلة تجعلنى خائفة من العودة الى ذلك المكان الذى اعشقه , البعض يقول ان حياة الخارج افضل اى انها حياة العالم الاول و ذلك العالم الذى يتيمتع بالعلم و التطور .. عندم كنت فى بلادى قد كنت متلهف الى ذهب الى ذلك العالم و لكن قد كان لى هدف من هذا هو التعلم و التطور و ثم اعود الى اين ما ولدت, ولكن فى بعض احيان اشعر بان العودة سوف تكون فقط حلم , انا و الحمدلله اتعلم و ادرس واريد اكمل الدراسة و انواع من دراستى , ولكن لم تكن الدراسة عائق لى العودة اعرف بانى سوف انتهى و احقق ما اريد , لكن هنالك من يجعلنى خائفة من العودة وهذا يقتلنى بدل المرة الالف مرة , اشعر بانى اشتاق الى الشوراع و الى سماءها والى كل شىء فيها .. الحمدلله اعيش مع ابى و امى و اخواتى ولكن لا يزال الحنين قائم مزالت اشتاق الى نسمتها و الى الونها الذهبية , عندم اتكلم مع امى على الوطن تقول لى من ينتظرك ليس عندك احد وهذة كلمات تقتلنى قد لا تعرف مامعنى هذا , اذا لم انا هنا لماذا جاءت الى هنا قد جاءت من اجل ان اعود الى هناك ,, قد جاءت من اجل ان اعود قد جاءت من

من اجل ان اعود .هو وطنى الحبيب ينتظرنى و متلهف لى ملقتى مثلما انا متلهفة الى لقائه احبك واحب ان ادفن فى ترابك احب عيش بين الاحضانك احب شمسك و رياحك اعشق نسماتك و اتوق الى سمع كلماتك اعشقك عشق السكير لى خمرة اعشقك عشق الطفل اليتيم لى امه احب كل تفا صيل عيوبك فاعيوبك هى التى اعشاق ,مشيت على تلك الكلمات الكثير التى تعبر عن حال الوحدة و الم ...لم اعد اريد السعادة خذوها اذا اردتم فان لا اريدها.. اريد العيش فى ذلك المكان .. قد عشقت الوهم و اريد العيش فيه ولا اريد ان ارى الحقيقة برغم بانى ارعاف تلك الحقيقة المرة ..اين مكانى انا هناك اين راحتى ولماذا ..قد بحث و نبشت فى ذلك القلب و لكن لم اجد شيئا الا العذاب و القساوة من الم فا لماذا هى

هذة الايام افكر بالموت و معنى الموت ,, كلنا نعرف الموت بانه انتهاء حياتنا وعودت اروحنا الى الله سبحانة وتعالى ولكن انا اشعر بان الله لن يطيل بى حياتى بانى سوف ارحلا عن هذى حياة ,,هذا ليس من الغريب كلنا سوف نموت ,, و ماجعلنى افكر فى الموت هو الوطن ومدى حبنا بالحياة و تعلقنا بيها ,, ولكن ماذا فعلت انا فى حياتى ,, كل تلك اسئلة سوف تنهتى مع انتهاء حياتنا وعودتها الى الله , حتى اروح تعود الى مكانها ,, وانا سااعود لهذا ذهبت واموت وادفن هناك

يا دارُ إنّ غزالاً فيكِ عذّبنـــي.......لله درُّكِ
مـــــــا تحوين يا دارُ الدارُ تملِكُني ويحي وصاحبها.......قلبي، مليكان ربُّ
الدار والدارُ يا دارُ لولا غَزالٌ فيكِ عُلّقَنـي.......ما كان لــــي فيكِ
إقبالٌ
وإدبارُ

Where is the happiness ?

Everything could be change in one Moment, In last post I wrote ( I would like to live every

moment of happiness even If I know I will loes it ) . I knew that happiness will not take long time , it was short happiness or it was Delusion. The happiness is to short beacuse if we lived life full of happiness will not feel such happiness , but what If we Lived life full of sadness Can we feel Happiness or We wil uesd to live in sadness so we wil not feel any thing Like we are living just waiting for death , It could be difficult to Understanding that, I want that thing too much but Does not want me to have that happiness , There is the fact that I must know nothing coming Easily I have to get pain , hurt and work hard for It and most be sadness beacuse without sadness there is No happiness. I just walk away from pain but once I go back to It. I feel like im in Dark room There is no air and I can not breathe, All of that beacuse of One thing I couldnt have it.

I Felt HaPpy

I felt happy last Night I cant describe how was that happiness , I have been smiling when I was sleeping that was for first time. I couldnt hide that but all that happiness there is stil a Fear from losing that Moment Again but Never Mind I would like to live every moment of happiness without thinking of a fear even If I know that I would lOes It. I would Like to Never forget this Moment..Thanks 4 made me happy

One PersOn Could Change Your Life withOut any Reason..

مرة وقع طائر في غرام وردة بيضاء . وقرر أن يصارحها بحبه ، ولكنها رفضت . وقالت أنا لا أحبك . فظل يصارحها بحبه بشكل يومي . وأخيراً قالت الوردة البيضاء : عندما يصبح لوني أحمر سوف أحبك . وفي أحد الأيام أتى الطائر وقطع جناحيه ونشر دمه على الوردة البيضاء فتحول الوردة البيضاء الى حمراء فاعندها ادراكت الوردة كم احبها الطائر ولكن بعد فوات الاون .. وذلك يجب علينا الا نضيع لحظة مع شخص الذى احبنا و عندها سوف نندم بان اضعنا شخصا قد مت من اجل حبه لنا

الغريب بان انسان يجرحة اقرب ناس لدية.... والشخص الذى يبكيك هو نفس الشخص الذى يفرحك .. هذة مجرد كلمات نسمع بية و لكن هل هنالك من يشعر بيها.. قد سئمت تلك الكلمات التى لااعرف الى اين سوف تنتهى والى اين سوف تاخذنى كل شىء فى هذة قد ذهب بعيدا مثل اوراق الخريف الصفراء التى تتسقط على ارض تحمل الف قصة و كل قصة تحمل جرحا و عذاب و الم ... قد وجدت طريقى و لكن محمل بى فصول السنة, حياتى اصبحبت فصول و كل فصل يحمل معه جرح ... اين انا من هذا الجرح ..قد وجدت نفسى ضحية الكذب و الخداع.. و الغريب بانى اكذاب على نفسى و لااعرف اين انا من هذااااا... كل يوم يمر و العذاب يزيد و اشتاق الى تلك اشياء الصغيرة اعرف بان كلماتى قد تكون غير مفهومة اوغمضة كم يقول البعض,ولكن قد يعلم شخصا واحد بما اشعر لانة هو نفس الشخص الذى قد قتلنى بدل مرة الف ..

شخص فى حياتى .. قد تكون هذة حالة غريبة او هو مرض لم اعرف ماهو بعد ,وفى بعض احيانا استغرب ما افعل و اقول هل هذة انا او غيرى قد سئمت من نفسى وبما افعلة بى نفسى .. سوف اعود الى هذا الشخص ..سوف اتكلم عنة ولكن بطريقة التى استغربت بيها عن حالى .. قريب منى اشعر بانة جزئى الثانى الذى طالما بحثت عنة ولكن بعيد عنى قد تبعدنا البحار و محيطات و القارات و لكن من قبل لم اشعر بان تلك البحار و المحيطات قد تبعدنا .. قد كانة نقول بان شخص واحد اى ان هو انا و هى انا هذى يعنى بان روحا واحدة تعيش فى نفس العالم وجميل بانى اتنفس ومزالت اتنفس ذلك الهواءمع تلك الروح ولكن تلك الروح بناء عليها حائط من الم و العذاب و الكذاب ..قد تكون كلمات غريبة بحار و محيطات و الحائط من الكذاب ولكن قبل هذا قد كان حلما جميل طالما حلمت بيه ولكن ما من حلما يدوم يجب علينا ان نتستيقظ و نعيش الوقع الذى هو الخش و الخدع .. من اقبل قد احرقت كلماتى التى لم اعرف من اين جاءت ربما بانى عرفت بان تلك كلمات غير واقعية وبان الواقع هو الذى اعيشة هو الوقع بان اى شىء جميل سوف يكون حلم ولن يدوم ..

الغريب بان كل مانبعد نشتاق اكثر والذى عذابنى بانى اشتاق رغم بانى لا اريد بان اشتاق فى بعض احيانا اشعر بان هذا شعور مرض و من الصعب التخلص منة .... اليوم قد كانت رياح عتية رغم بان الفصل هو فصل الربيع و البارد القارص قد شعرت بان كل جزء فى جسمى متجمد . هذا البارد قد كان مثل بارد الشوق و الحنين الى شيئا بعيد عن دفاء و الحنان تلك هذة الاشياء قد اصبحت متجمد و باردة قد نست معنى الدفء ...

ماذا تفعل عندما تعلم بان كل شىء جميل لن يعود وبانك سوف تعيش حياة ملئية من الشوق و الحب وبارد وعدم شعوربى الدفء وكل شىء سوف يذهب عكس التيار؟؟ لماذا أحمل فى قلبى ذلك الشعور الغبى الذى معنه الضعف .. اعرف بان

كلما زدا فى عمرى كلما زدا العذاب وامل

من الصعب ان يفهم الانسان مشاعر غيرة ومن الصعب ان تحب ومن اصعب بان تعشق انسان بعيد ابعد حتى من البحار ومحيطات .. الحب شىء جميل بس اجمل لو كان مش مرض انا اشعر بان الحب مرض يصعب التخلص منه ولكن افضل شىء هو ان تملأ قلبك بى حب لله و رسوله

The hardest things........

When you try to do the best for someone just to show Him /Her that How much you loved and you still do that , when that person need something ...and you promiss to that person you will do that easy thing however you do it but then something wil going wrong and you couldnt do it ...therefore that person you love will Do not believe you at all and never trust you , how is that Terrible. you wil hate your life more then before because you couldnt show how much you love that person by easy thing and say I am not Luckly ... feel depressed cuz you couldnt show that Love by easy way.I am sure that person will think of Lied you get hurt from that person. He or she will think you are just playing and would hurt you more and more , You will lose the trust .What you can do after that???.....................

شـــــــــــــجرة لــــــــــــوز

اورق اشجار بحيرات ازهار كل شىء فى هذة حياة لة لون وكل لون لة معنى ...كل شجرة لوز عند فصل الربيع تحمل لون ابيضا جميل الذى يحمل معنى السلام و الخير و النقاء .. لدى شجرة لوز ذكرة جميلة عندى او علامة مميزة فى قاموس ذكرياتى . مزراعة بـــــاتى الحاج تميزت بااشجار لوز الكثيرة فى فصل الربيع عندم كنت اذهب الى هناك تكون المزرعة قد تغطات بالون ابيض مثل عروس التى ترتدى فستان زفافها ابيض الجميل ... وليس فقط الابيض بل الودرى الهداء... تتسقط تلك الوردات البيضاء على طريق وتغطى المكان كلة اجمل منظر فى حياتى كلها . كان فى كل منزل امامة شجرة لوز ... عندم كنت صغيرة قد كنت اقطف لوز قبل نوضجية ... لست انا فقط كنت افعل هذا بل جميع والغريب بان نحبوا لوز نينة .. يوجد بعض من اولد خالى و خالتى يحبوا ان ياكلوا القشور ...مزالت انتذكر شجرة يالى قدم حواش امى عايشة وامى سكينة .. نذكر زمان ولد خالتى كان ديمة فوق شجرة لوز ..مرة جدى شافة مش حا تصور شنو يومها .... نذكر كانة انحبوا نلعبوا تحت شجرة لوز يالى قدم حواش امى سكينة .ومرة لقاء و لد خالتى حمامة مريضة فحول ان يساعدها بس ماصار شىء متت الحمامة و دفنها تحت شجرة لوز كانة انحبوا انجمعوا لوز واجد .... نذكر زمان كانة نلعبوا تشا بى قشور لوز وتحت شجرة لوز مايحلش الا لعب ....... من ورد شجرة لوز نذكرة كنت اندير فى اكليل ورد بس ديمة كان يخرب منى كان وراء روشان دار امى سكينة فى شجرة لوز كنت انحب نرقد فيها واجد فى صباح لم انوظ انشم بنتها مزراعة كانت اميزة بى شجرها الواجد ولله يرحمة باتى حاج كان يحب الشجرة واجد حتى انا انحب الشجرة واجد فى اى شجرة انحب انبحت فيها و تاخذنى الى عالم تانى من خيال .. كل شجرة لوز غادى كانت تحمل ذكرة عندى و سر وكان الشجرة بنطق رهوا تكلام و قالت على كل ذكرة ...انا اليوم لم طلعت لى جامعة ومشيت فى شوراع مانشستر كان فى الون واجد من اشجار بس ماكانتش و لا وحد فيهن تسوى حاجة عندى بس يمكن الونها ذكرتنى باشجار لوز يالى مزراعة باتى الحاج . يمكن انا فى كل مدونة لزم نكتب عليها لان فعلا اشتقت لى مكان هذا واجد يمكن انى لو نقدر نرجع زمان الى وراء و انعيش لحظات هذى مرة تانية ..انا عارفة يمكن تغيرت اماكن فيها وزدات حاجات ..جاء فيها ناس تانينة فيها بس ناس هذوم مش عارفين قيمة مكان هذا شنو ........ صورتة مزالت فى عينى ...........ومشتاقة واجد لى مكان هذا مشتاقة لى لامة مع بعضنا لى ضحك لى لعب ..لم استطع ان احبس دموعى و قد اشتقت كثيرا. الى تلك اشياء الصغيرة .المشكلة بان نعرف بان الذكرة لا تعود مرة اخرى ولان لكل زهرة مصيرها الذبول وذكرة تدوم.. ولكن عندم اعود الى هنالك اول مكان ح نمشيلة هى مزراعة بـــــــــــاتى حاج قيمة مكان هذا غالية و لاتسوى كنوز الدنيا ..لم استطع ان احبس دموعى عندما جاءت صورة هذا مكان فى خيالى و عقلى كانى اعرف بان هذا لن يحصل مرة تانية بان كل شىء تغير بس الحمدلله عشت فية اجمل ايام حياتى غادى ...ولله يرحم اصحابها يالى عاشوا فيها

WiNd, RIAN and Cold

( That was My day ... I felt cold inside my heart, rian In my eyes and wind in my feeling...I was like the winter wearther ....My heart got Gray Color like Manchester streets even if there are colours but all of them No true ...I could see my shadow walking alone with out me in this gray street like it would leave Me alone , would to leave me and find anther person could not hurt his self or her self . last night I saw the light of the Moon but couldnt feel there is stil hope in my life like just going to pass anything without feel that... I could hear the wind in my feel cold in my heart but No rain ..Why I dont know...I need to feel warm , Lought big loudly) .. In this Morning I went to doctor to cheak how is my shoulder going bad or better ...It was good but When I moved in the back it would hurt me .. he said it wil take time I just I ve to take tablets on time...I didnt sleep last night at all ..I wake up early I went to Uni then to doctor I Back early to home just to sleep but I didnt .....................................................Until Now

I feel guilty

I dont know what I have done now ...I am just feeling guilty right now ....I couldnt describe my feeling. It was first time I ve done that .. it wasnt me to do that someone elsa I dont know who was it but it wasnt me but I worried what will happen after that ?... would you blema for that mistake? If that what you can do, you can.. but do not even think I meant that, ye rab when I tryed to fixed things, something wil going wrong ... Why we should break everything we have been bulit in one secound ? how stupid that feeling ... GUILTY GUILTY

I Hurt My self....

I just Hurt My self everyday , Minutes and scouend. I dont get hurt from people around me but I do hurt my self , why do I have to do that every time ?!! I cant understand that at all ... I remembered what My teacher said to me when I was at Libyan school that time we were talking about people heart and why some people hate each other , and talked about Love bettween boys and girls and wgich way is good for them if they be in love but we talked about General Love , and how people hurt each other ,,, he said muslim heart can be good just by read Qrawan ..by lOve allha and Mohammed (sallha allha 3leahi wa slam) and he said how to forgive who hurt us ? ! I was to interesting to talked about that. he said one point about me ..he said ( Hana`s heart doesnt know how to hate or hurt any one ,,even if someone hurt her she wouldnt like to hate that person) I asked him that Is that Mean I am weak ? so I couldnt take My revenge .. he said No person like you could take her revenge but in civilized way ...your HEart could Love all people and you wish all peole love each other..... What he had talken True but his words made me think of my self soo much ..I know I dont hate anyone even If there is some people hurt me ..I dont Know if I love them Or hate them but I dont like to hurt them I just stay away from them and live my life without them like they not in this life..however One of my best cusin said that to me as wel but he said If I hate someone My heart would never back like before and I would like to hurt my self ..but Now I hurt my self I do not hate anyone but people do hurt me when I care about them ....what hurt me is I can not stop that ... I would like to live my life without pain ,hurt and MISSING.

بـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــاتى الحــــــــــــــــاج

احيانا قد يشعر الانسان بانها يحتاج الى الاشخاصا قد ذهبوا الى بعيد ولن يعود مرة اخرة .. وقد يتمنى بان يعيش معهم مرة اخرة فى عهدهم ..والغريب بان لكل رجل زمان و لك زمان رجل ولكن قد يدوم هذا زمان الى رجل واحد وهذا ما اشعر بية نحو احب شخصية عندى بعد رسول علية صلى و سلم ...... قد احببت ان اكتب عن هذا شخص الذى لن ارى شخصا مثل شخصيتة و لا هيبته ذلك الرجل الذى قد بدا حياته من الصفر والله سبحانة و تعالى قد رزقة من عندها وقد عاش طفولتة يتيمنا .هو رجل قبلي شهم وشجاع وثري وتحصيله التعليمي بسيط. قد كانت اجمل مافى شخصايته الشجاعة التى لم ارى ولم اسمع مثل شجاعتة من قبل وهو الرجل الذى عرف بالحزم وعدم التردد,, قد احببتة كثير وتمنتة بان يعلم كم احبة وكم تمنيت ان لله يطول من عمرة و صحتها ولكن مامن انسان يعيش الى ابد كلنا سوف نموت وترجع ارواحنا الى لله سبحانة وتعالى ...عندم كنت صغيرة اسمع بانه قد جاء او اسمع صوتة قلبى يرتجف قبل جسمى و اختباء هذا لم يكن يحدث لى فقط بل كان يحدث الى جميع احفادة .مزالت اتمن بانى عشت زمانه الاول مثلا ما عاش ابناء خالتى الاولين ..لم اجد كلمات اعبر فيها عن ماد اعجبى و حبى لة ... احيانا اتمن بانة لا يزال على قيد الحياة وبصحة وا قول اذا كان هو حيا و بصحة جيدة حياتنا سوف تكون افضل ......يقال بان الاموات يعلمونا ما يشعرو بينا ...اتمن بانه يشعر بيا الان وبانة يعرف بانى احبة حبا كبيرا واتمن ان اكون مثلا شجاعتة و كرامة ....اقسم بانى لن ارى رجل مثلة هذا رجل قد بناء لنا حياتنا لم تكن مثلا حياة اى اشخاص .. جعلا لنا عائلة كبير و يفتخر المرء بان يكون منها .......لم استطع الكاتبة الان لا اعرف لماذا ولكن اعرف بان الكلماتى غير كافية لة ...مكانة فراغ ولن يستطيع احد ان يكون مثلة .احيانا اتمن بان اتزوج رجل مثلة ولكن من الصعب حصول على شخصا مثلة ...زمان كان يحب بان ان ناديه باسم بــــاتى الحاج ..لله يرحمة كلة شىء جعلة مميز فى اعيننا المزراعة بنتها و شجرها الونها منزال الاربعة الة قديش انحبهن هنا الاربعة ....لله يرحمك يا باتى الحاج تعبت و شقيت فى هل الدنيا وخيراك امغرقنا لعند اخرة يوم فى عمرنا... لله يرحمك و يسامحك وانتلقوا فى الجنة ان شاءلله

كريـم يابـرقٍِِِِِ لمـع بـراقـه
عيني تخيله والقـدم ماجاتـه
النفس خضـرا للهوى تواقـه
لاهبها الغربي علـى نفحاتـه
يافل ياريحـان مـدري باقـه
قلب الشقى ولعت في مشكاتـه
ارحم ترى ماعاد فيّـه طاقـه
وقت السعد يوخذ على حزاتـه
جتك المشاعر مبهله منساقـه
الحب اله ذوقه ولـه سجاتـه
ترى الهوى للعالـم العشاقـه
اما التفت والا خفوقـي هاتـه
لاقلت عطني من هواك اذواقـه
لاتمنع الشفقان مـن مشهاتـه
ياطلة ايـام العمـر واشراقـه
ياعشق طاروقـي وياكسراتـه
ياكل شعري والقلـم واوراقـه
ياصوتي المبحـوح يانبراتـه
بغا يطير القلب مـن معلاقـه
ساعت لمحت البرق من وجناته
في ماقفٍ يحكم علـي افراقـه
يومه تبسم وانحنـت نظراتـه
ماجـور ياقلـبٍ فقـد براقـه
ماتمـت الفرحـه ولامشهاتـه

beauitful day make me happy even when I am sad

It was really beatiful day .. all this week was beauitful weather No cold No rain how was that Nice. I finished early today Bryan didnt come so we cancel that lesson , I told my mates we should go out to cuz it is really nice weather to go out so we went out to city cinter when we were out I could see people happy and smiling how is that nice in the way I had ice cream ... when I was at piccadlly garden it was full , I met up some of my freinds who was with studying with me last year all the way stopped and say slam cuz most of them out ..Tom met his freinds and Introduced me to his freinds they were quite good , we satyed at park and there was alots of people who was playing footbal and who was sleeping on grass ..( Tom is English boy older then me about two years he is about 22 years sometimes he be soo nosy ... all the girls like him cuz he is really gentalman and handsome the Good thing of him he respect my Religious , he always helping me and doesnt like to see me sad and try to do th e best just to see my smile however he is soo funny and good joker, he got blond but now he changed to black and got blue eyes his stright and somtimes do spiky ) ... I do really happy cuz I ve friend like him . After that I left him with sara and his friends I back to home with my smile ............

I nearly burst .....

there is nothing words to write.. I am just dont know any thing , I am killing my self every day every moment there is no any answer for my Questions hopfully I try to answer them but I couldnt ... I am just walking away from the that .. long life and long stories it could be hared to write but I dont know where I am going .

Missing

every moment I missing .. every second I can see my tears thoes days I miss libya soo much , I know most of people wil say how you stupid to miss libya you are in England .. I am in the first world and they in third world but that third word is My home and country .. there is where I was born there was my first smile there was my frist happeiness ... I had call and this call pain me soo much it was from someone I forget every moment I had it .. I dont know why and how he was calling me I dont want to get hurt any more I want live my life with this heart in slam ...I know he tryed to not hurt me but he was remind me about my first year in England I hate this year.. he talked words I dont want to listen it agien it was lia like any lia before .. I told him to stay away from me .. he asked me If have someone in my heart , I told him that I ve my own life . he just tryed and talked I wouldnt like to listen to him I just said stop talking and I wil cloes the phone ,,, I told him that you two I had just hurt from the both so go away ... he said I knew we did that .. and I am sorry .. I cant axspet that sorry .. I cloes phone then at the moment I need one person to cry on his shoulder ...I sat down crying I put my baby pic and cryed with talked to pic like I want telling him what pain me like what I did before when we were talking about my pain ... I need that person more then ever I would like to what pain me I would like to say I need you do not go ...and I still do ......

before I sleep I put His Picture On

alawys before I sleep look at his Picture and talkeing with it ... I know that stupid thing but I couldnt do nothing for that .. I stil have same feeling .. it wouldnt change , every moment I missing that it really nice feeling when you know some loves you but the most hurt thing when you are just a victim for him ,, I couldnt hate him cuz he stil live in my heart it could be strenger feeling and hard to explanation . wllahai I am dying every moment I can not do any thing for that, when he be lia I knew it that he lia and he didnt mean that especially when he said I am then you .. we back and talked an hour then he moved Conversation like he want run away from something I get that ... and I left every thing and see what he will saying ...nothing and left Conversation and before that we talked about about someone her looked like me , he said when I saw her I was Surprise how she looks like you it copy from you .. so it was time to finiesh we said goodbye and see ye 2morr , I knw that I wil not see him 2morro and that what happened ..I didnt sleep at all I was thinking of his words and look when he saw her ... I didnt stop of thinking of that .. any way we left that . Monday came and it was very nice day sunshine and warm day how was beautiful that day .. I can see the smile of people in thir feac .. Sara caled me about 10:00am she told me they waitting for me in garden , In that day I change My Clothes 100 times finllay I choesed one nice. I met them at garden alots people were there ... they was happy and doing things .. most of them playing football and sleeping On Grass .Sara, I and Tom were sating On Grass One women came to us and asked us to if she can take photograph for us . we said yes you can I didnt feac camer, after that I told them I ve to go to bank to Cancel my Insurance , I told them to stay at garden cuz I wil back .. I went to bank I talked to Staff .. one of the staff didnt stop talk in nothing all his talk was about weather and how it nice and it is Spring .. I finiesh and I met Tom and Sara we went to Uuni after the Lesson finished we went to cinter Library I stayed there all my time to study , Tom went with his girlfriend and sara stayed with me , I like cinterLibrary the building it An old and historic the light so Romantic the wall of the Library like ring has Old writen on it. I was happy when I seen sunshine and people around me smiling there is Embarrassing thing when you see girlfriend and boyfriend kissing like I am watching English film and there is one thing made me happy as wel Tom said to me I can see light in your eyes and Sara as well said that , I lought I told them I feel like I want fly but scared to Fall down .. I dont care how many times I fall down but each times I tryed to fly I feel happy and scerad but Never give up cuz I stil have my heart even if I get hurt ....Asma called me , she wants me to go with her I said okk but I ve to asked mum first , mum said ok but I ve to back to house first I back to there I tld mum how is the weather nice and how many people there , I ate something then I left house and met her at bus stop we went to hospital after that I told her I want see your father to teach me something ,, she said ok we met her father at Library .. I cant Descrip how is her father is Educated I never seen man like him he knows every thing about Religion ,Science , Geography,Politics every thing in this world. when I listening to him I be Interesting ..when he talked about Chemistry it carry with it Religion . I wish have half the information he got it them ..they invie me to thier house I said sorry I cant but I wil do it soon .. it was late time about 10:00pm I arrived .. I tOld mum about every thing ,I wen to my room open my email I just saw zaza and Nuna onlime I chat with zaza then she is gone .. sara called me askes me if i finish study or not I told her not yet .. Sara is half Iranan and English she lived half her life in London and choes Manchester to study at Uni every hoildays he going to London , however I talked to Nuna .. I told her I want see Essam and Dawod soon thoes my cusins I love them but we have problem with my uncle ,,I feel sorry about that any way I didnt sleep that night at all I ve to finish my work I finished sbout 3 am.

weekend

the Morning came , all night I was thinking of thoes words and if it was last night or there is more night and then gone like any before anyway I left my bed and went to bathroom when I was washing my Face I looked in Mirror I felt like how is stupid feeling that I washed my face agein like I want to wak up bUt I couldnt , I cryed to much cuz in Mirror I saw that face , why I alwys see that face in My face there was No answer. The Night before I was praying for allha and saying ye help me ye hive me what I want. I prayed Morning when I finieshed I ask allha to help me cuz I want this pain to finiesh. we had breakfast , Mum was angry from me cuz I didnt eat well however I left table i was in Bad Mood I wouldnt like to talk to anyone therefor I went to my Room to clean it after that I sat and put my head between papers to study I didnt stop at all my sisters was bring to me Juice in all my peapers I was Drawing My sister like what I draw it she said that it is lunch time you can come to eat ,, we had lunch it was (Makrona ambo7`a ) after that I watched Tv then back to study I give up from studying so I opened My email there was Nuna Online and Zaza , Zaza started to chated with me and send to me about Lucky day , after that I felt like I want to listen to Old song I was listening when I was child it called Watan ye watan .. how was nice this song when I found I send it to Nuna , she said why did remmeber this song and then she asked why things do remmber when you were child .. ? Ohh that was interesting Question , I started to remmeber .............................................there was alots of things to ..... I and Nuna we same thing We LOved ...it is My grandfather Farm or we called it ( bati el7g farm) we remmber how was the way long and we get tired and we remmber the Smell of the farm , it really was beauitful days we had , there is some thing pain me soo much mybe I would like to write about it cuz iy hurt me soo much and I cant 4get that ... when my uncle from father side slap my face how is that hurt No the slap but Internal pain , I stil feel that pain until Now . how I cryed that day ..I hope can I forget that but I can ont forget who hurt me without any Reason, I hate that day soo much all of them was in garden . I waish can I give to him back slap unil now I would like to give to him same slap , it was sunny day and Eid day I was 16 old years , I was shouting and screming I wont to run away from their houes ,I back to our flat and I didnt stop cry My uncle`s wife came to Us like she would like to say sorry but I wasnt Like that sorry cuz I knew it she didnt mean that ... next day my uncle came to our falt and said sorry and kissed my head I wouldnt like he do that to me cuz I stil want to take my Revenge. leave from that I start to cry now , we talked to Nuna and we remmber and remmber ..... at the moment it coming now I was happy but sceared beauiful words or lia I dont know but I was happy cuz what I ve in My heart it true and clean .... I never falt like before sometimes I feel Guilty cuz I give to my self resason for lia .. and said that happened cuz care about me and loves , I am so confeuse I can not do any thing just pray to allaha ye rabi help me .. to ve that for ever in my Life like what it Have me ...I slpet and waiting ... but I knw that it wil came agien .....even when said I want you so I wil back

friday night

I back from Uni I was angry when I get in house I dont know why but I feel like I hate everything that wasnt resons to feel that , I had good day at Uni just Tom wasnt In at the morning then he came at afternoon so was normal thing , I went to my room I stayed there Sometimes I feel like I hate My room soo much , I had to do shower cuz doctor bath is good for my shoulder , I still feeling angry but I knw there is one thing can makes me happy but it is too far from me after that I opened My labtop I cheaked My emill , I chated with zaza I told her what I am feeing.( Nuna and Zaza are soo cles form me sometimes I feel nuna is part of me cuz we have same things we loved) howeve I went down to eat something all my family slpet I needed something to eat thoes dayz I alawys feel hungry I went to kitchen I looked in Fridge I took cronfalaks and Milk and My Favorite cup I mixed them and I sat on chair still feeling angry and hate life after that I back agein to Fridge I took 2 Yogurt after finiesh them I back to my room it was about 11:50 pm I lay on the bed looking around what wil happen to me . In this Moment something came On , My heart start to beats quickly and My tears come into my eyes , I needed that person soo much , there is fact words saying What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made u cry? In the first I wouldnt like to talked cuz I had soo much pain and I scik from that but My heart stil same No change even I Had Hurt and I cant live without Air. therefor I talked and asked me about if what happened to right oR not and didnt blive that , I was looking at Picture I couldnt hide my tears.I just had pain and Hurt but I was happy at this moment cuz I was missing and that missing hurt me so much I was just listening and said if like to shout at me do it just for me shout I couldnt do that cuz I know that it wouldnt work.... told me that I miss you ... the Conversation was moving on but it wasnt form me fro ather side there . I know why the Conversation did moved cuz feeling guilty when it spoke with me like it wouldnt like to countine that and try to run awy from that , after finiesh kissed me and gone. I was happy cuz I miss it every moment but sceard cuz I know that Happiness I will lose it after one day or two days but I was liaing to myslef two timestalked in the mounth will be fine just to make my self happy and do not be Shocked, I slept with scared.

Today ....

Today I had HOilday from exams I selpt like I wont to wake up agien , I wont to see any thing I wont to write or talk I wont to Love , I just I want to cloes My eyes But I couldnt do that I wake up about 10.00 am , I had shower then I prayed, I went to kitchen I made Nescafe to my self and I took some ( BREOSH ) sweet bread , I went to the garden to see the weather if it is nice , the weather was quite cold the sun was hideing but the light was not , I went in to watch Tv put Jassear to see whats happend to the world ,it was nothing interesting how ever I saw news peaper there was One interesting headline it was about sport talked about United they winer yestarday , the house was emty all of them was at school , I went to my room I looked At My mobile I had 5 missed call from my friend Asme , I texted her to call back , she asked me to go out if I am not buzy , I said to her I am not buzy I think I can go with you , I asked Mum and she said ok you can , I told her to come to my house until to get ready , when I was getting ready I put some music sometimes I feel guilty to listen to them , I put song ( 7`las ye dom3i) stop my tears. Asma came to my house I opened to her door I asked her to give me a moment cuz I vent finiesh wearing my colthes , I told mum to stay with her , I weard my clothes , when she saw me she said you always model , how ever we went I asked mum if she need any thing from out side and she said No thankx ,I told Asma shall we go to park to walk there cuz I love walking , after walking we took Bus , we went to restaurant to have lunch , she asked me about my life how was going thinks like that , when we were talking my mobile ring ,I answerd it was sroor called to asked me to go with her as wel I told her to come with us but dhe wouldnt cuz she was so far away from us , the restarant was FuLL , when we were eating there is some of friends we knew them came into restourant most of them was suprisesed cuz of saw me long time No one saw me they thought I left Manchester and Live in anther city cuz of Uni , when I was eating in ever min I was thinking of mum cuz she likes to eat in this reataurant , Asma satart to talked about Married and asked when I wil married and If I ve some one in my heart , I told her I am like any girl dream of her widding but not now , she asid My dad liked you and he wants you to my uncle I lought I said you did it like Abdul done to me , (Abdul I am older then him about 2 years , I was teaching him in chamsty and he was telling me every thing about his life he is good boy , and he really likes me cuz of that he wont me to be in his family and when his auncle came to England his family came to propoes me , it was supriesd me that ) any way I told Asma No I am not thinking of marred now cuz it stil Long way I told her one key word If I want to marred I would like to marry one from bengahazi . she tryed to changed my mind but she couldnt , after that I had missed call from libya it was my cusin from mum side , she said to me you so cloes from the I said yes I love them . I told her about my aunti 3aziza I said I cant live one day with out chat with them . after that I had to met soroor , so we had to go . she said to me I ve to go cuz she had meeting with doctor I told her ok see you and she rimind me about anther meeting when I finesh My exams , I huged her to say bye cuz here in England we huged No kissing like libya . in that moment Tom came that was really supries me cuz that was Nice Coincidence , he scared me first cuz he was behaind me I told him what you doing here , are follow me or what he said No at that time Asma stil with me she was wondering who is that I told her he is my mate , she said he is cute and handsome I cant say he is not cuz he really handsome and model guy , I told her I be happy when he walked with me in Uni cuz he is handsome LOL. he said to me I waitting for Bus to go to city center to met his freinds there , Asme said bye to me agein and huged as well , I was waitting for bus as well to go to city center to met soroor , we took about and get in we were talking and joking he said I am happy to see you lought I told him dont be jealous cuz my smile more beautiful than yours he said No you got ugly smile that was joke his bus was nearly and he gett out from the bus , some libyan guys get in the bus they didnt stop talking alloud like they want to let me know we ar libyan then I had to gett out from the bus they were behaind me they were saying words to me long time I didnt hear it , I went stright way I called sroor to ask her where she is , she said I am in the bank , I told her I wil wait for you in the piccadilly garden , she said okk when I went to there I sat in the where I had my best call my beat beatiful words I remmeber them , I startd to tremble , I wasnt tremble cuz Of cold but I was tremble to remember the words , how was nice that feeling. sroor came to me we huged and walked and talked I told her what Asma said to me , she was agree with me cuz it stil long way for me to marrd cuz I stil crazy lol. we talked and had drink , she was missing libya , she told me she want to back to there this summer I told her she has to do that to change her mind , the weather was cold and sun hideing but i could see the light of sun , I felt tired and scik , how ever I arrived her to bus stop and said goodbye to her. I walked alone in the street see how people walkin , all of them have diffrent life and hurt , I gett in to the bus it was full , when I was wallking in the street to home there was black car stopped and called my name I was scared who was that , it was my freind fom Uni , she Get new car ,, she said to me waht I will doing for tomorr friday I said No idea , she went and I arrived at hom talked to mum she was tired and scik she asked me how was my day I told her every thing axspet What Asma said to me about marred , cuz I know she think in anther way , I prayed after that went downt to watch mosllessl in the (Raia chanel) I sat and wach it . I opened my email but No one was online I missed nuna she wasnt online , after that I talked to my freind in libya by email , she was sad cuz of her boyfriend i tred to made her happy but it is not between my hand , theose boys alawys like to hurt us , It stil early to sleep , all of them at thier room , Amy at libyan school , I am writing , I am nearly finieshed I ve to go to pray el 3sha.